So, like me, if you were to sit down and say “Forsooth! Today is the fine day I begin my own internet merry-making!” you’d quickly follow up your statement with a existential crisis worse than trying to fold a fitted sheet. You’ve opened the door to the rabbit hole of Pandora’s box, filled with mixed metaphors and some unfortunate and unresolvable questions. Like: “If this is a personal website, what’s my personality?” Or, how about: “What do I want to do here?” Or possibly, “What is a personal website anymore, with Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr etc etc etc?” Perhaps you prefer the classic doomslinger: “Who am I?” Later, you look in the mirror and your face is all puffy, because you’ve been crying about your stupid, meaningless existence for two months. At least that’s what I did. Damn websites.
If one GPS satellite is off by one billionth of a second – one nanosecond – then the GPS receiver will think it is one foot closer or further away from that satellite, and by the time it does all the math inside of it, it’s actual position could be off by two or three feet.
– Dr. Demetrios Matsakis, Chief Scientist for Time Service Department, United States Naval Observatory
(via The Atlantic)
Date a girl who breathes. Date a girl who takes in oxygen the same way you take in bullshit tropes, in and out and constantly. Date a girl who will set you on fire because she is a dragon, a warrior, a brutal reminder that she’s not a girl who triumphs herself “not like other girls” because she knows they’re all different. Date a girl who isn’t romanticized because she reads or travels or is a cool girl. Date a girl who you don’t call “a cool girl” to imply that other girls are lesser and she’s only unique because you’ve labeled her that way. Date a girl who doesn’t get “points” for liking video games. Date somebody you think is a “slut,” you elitist old-timey prick. Date a girl who wears grandpa sweaters because she ate all the grandpas. Date a girl who bores you with tidbits about the weather. Date an imperfect girl. Date the movie 500 Days of Summer. Date a picture of Jennifer Lawrence holding War & Peace and a slice of pizza. Date a pizza in the shape of a girl. Date a girl who likes the tv shows and the music you hate. Date a brown m&m. Date a girl who doesn’t make you her special little snowflake in all your efforts to seem superior and grandiose. Date a girl who spoils all your favorite movies, you little shit. Date a girl who puts her hair in a cute top bun and drinks tea and smears mac-and-cheese all over her body like it’s the mud of all the mountains you dream of. Date a girl who eats the fucking food off your plate and puts ex-lax in your oatmeal. Date a girl who smells like the sea and that one writing class you took where you wrote a bunch of poems about cigarettes by the beach and took up smoking cloves. Date a girl who has been dead for FORTY YEARS. Date a girl who reminds you of the ex that still thinks you’re an asshole. Date a girl who is a mermaid that will drag you to the bottom of the sea. Pearly white teeth, sharp. Huddled ocean fear. You can hear yourself screaming. Date the girl who haunts your house. Date a girl who makes you question yourself, the way you make poetry your lifestyle and use words like “streetlamp” and “spine” and smoke signals” in every day conversation you smug fuck. Date a girl who can recite books: if you give a mouse a cookie, Apollo 13 junior novelization, that children’s book with the Rottweiler that had no words (edit: 3 words). Date a girl who poops. Date a girl who gets annoyed when you show up late, even if it’s only 5 minutes. Date a girl who talks too much during movies. Date a girl who sweats. Date a girl with arm hair. Date a girl with flabby arms. Date a girl who chews her cuticles. Date a girl because nobody’s perfect. Date a girl who wears the high-waisted pants and the deep maroon lipstick you hate. Date a girl who saved somebody on the Hindenberg. Date a girl with real anxiety who makes you realize it’s all not a fucking escape to beautiful things. Date a girl who is a snake. Date a girl who eats your heart. Date your mirror. Date a photoset. Date a girl who. Date a girl what. Date a girl who likes you. Date a plant. Go fuck yourself.